• Anja Radakovic

#BLM Police violence needs to stop. We care for you United States

Six months ago I saw a small young girl being handcuffed and being held by two policemen (well one was a large woman in her heavy armed uniform) and by two security-guards as well, so four armed adults in total.

The girl looked like she was 13/14 to me. After doing some research in the newspapers the following day I gathered the information that she was 16, and got into a fight with another girl at a bar. (Mind you that 16 is still considered to be a child.)

I saw her being beaten up as f*ck by this large armed policewoman. Not only that, she was being yelled at, being insulted and called names, and I mean in a very, very aggressive high pitch screaming way. It was the typical narcissistic injury of the ego kind of stuff: "How dare you try to move" "how dare you try to.. ". It was all the "me, me, me, me, and how dare you to me" kind of egoshit. This 16 year old girl was not doing anything but she was in total panic and crying. The policewoman saw it as an insult to her personal ego and just lost herself completely in a narcissistic rage. A violent one.

She seemed to enjoy the fact that she could harm this girl and put all her rage into her, the girl was powerless. I could not believe my eyes. It progressed, it went from bad to worse and this girl now lying on the floor. She was thrown on the cold brick stone in the winter with her bare face crashing the ground because her hands were behind her back, and there was nothing but her face to catch the forced fall. And force there was, a lot.

She was unarmed and handcuffed, a child, what was the harm she could do to these 4 armed adults in uniforms that hey needed to use this amount of violence towards her. No way in the world they could have thought they were unable to handle her. Did I mention they were armed? What could this handcuffed girl do? She was crying and screaming, yelling that her arms hurt, that she was in pain but the violence did not stop.

The three man, one police and two securities just stood there and let it happen.

I was nauseous by this (child) abuse. I was nauseous witnessing this amount of violence and aggression for someone who is defenseless. And it was called legal and was done by the government. If someone else did it they would've been arrested, but this was ok. I felt so powerless, my whole body screamed and burned that I needed to help this child but I knew I stood no change and her fate would be mine. So I had to do the most unnatural thing and walk away. Praying for her and feeling blessed I was not in her place ..but what if I ever will be at their mercy like this, or someone I love? That nasty taste of injustice, of power being misused, by sadistic pleasures of harming the powerless. I felt sick from those images passing by in my mind the whole night while I could not sleep.

Another time, long ago I saw cops beating up a man with so much violence and rage again. This time again, he was thrown at the ground, being stepped on, beaten up, blood everywhere. I cannot forget that scream of pure pain. This too made me so sick for a long time and quite frankly, still does. The amount of violence in both cases did not match to these people being defenseless and already handcuffed and taken over. They weren't doing anything to deserve the violence. They could have just been transported to the police station. There was no need in beating the crap out of them while they were defenseless..

And this is the Netherlands, this is nothing compared to the United states and even nothing compared to most other countries.

I cannot image how it must be to have to fear the police, to have to fear for your life because of your skin color. To fear the ones that need to protect you.

I'm sick of this amount of violence and so many black lives being taken.

United States, we feel for you all around the world.

No more sadists in charge, please.

The biggest misconception of people who feel powerless, who are narcissistic, psychopaths, who have a false sense of self is that if they hurt something that is completely at their mercy and is not able to fight back: like being handcuffed and hold on the ground, being a woman in a relationship with a violence man, being a child, being an animal. Their ego thinks that it is powerful to hurt the weaker, the ones without the advantage. It gives them a false sense of power. It is only logical that these people are attracted to these kinds of jobs unfortunately. And they can fool people easily with their superficial charm. Psychopaths here I state it once again: it's the weakest thing possible one can do on this planet. Everyone can hurt something smaller but none of us does. True power is to care for others, to care for oneself, to help.

Even though I can never imagine how it must be to live with that fear because of skin color. I care.

The world is on fire because we care.

For us black lives matter.

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