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  • Anja Radakovic

“Still I know you just don't care”

narcissistic manipulation in love relationships explained through a beautiful song

Breakfast At Tiffany's - Deep Blue Something



You'll say we've got nothing in common

No common ground to start from

And we're falling apart

You say the world has come between us

Our lives have come between us

Still I know you just don't care


To start with the beautiful start of the song. I think for someone who has been a codependent/self love-deficient for quite a long time in her life and love, this lyrics corresponds on a level that is more than just knowing, it’s the ‘I felt it’, “I lived it”, “these words through my mind constantly”. This feeling gushed through my body constantly when I was in a relationship with a narcissist.


I don’t think that there are any better words to put the feeling into the world. The constantly thinking about “you said” because that’s the reality, the narcissist is the only one who speaks and it’s about their needs and their manipulations. I remember thinking like this, “he says” constantly like my brain was distorted from walking on eggshells all the time, too afraid they will burst out into another ugly narcissistic rage so subconsciously you try to be ahead so that you know what they will say and so that you can change your words and behavior in order to keep the calm. But you never can, cause they need the drama and will create it anyhow.


And it’s funny because notice how its so superficial, its only about what they are “saying”. Nothing about what they are meaning or thinking. Because we already know that they are con-artist who don’t seem to feel much empathy anyhow, and its just words they use to manipulate, there is not much more to them or their personality. “You’ll say”


And the way it’s presented, we know their words are not true. All the excuses, all the blames putting on to us but yeah “Still I know you just don't care”. We are well aware of the fact that they can’t care.




I see you, the only one who knew me

But now your eyes see through me

I guess I was wrong

So what now? It's plain to see we're over

And I hate when things are over

When so much is left undone



Starting from our inner child wounds and the tactics narcissist use in the beginning to hook us in. Part of the love bombing is to mirror us, to pretend they’re everything we want and need, and they act as if they really care. But they don’t at all, it’s just a nasty tactic, an act. They play this false persona and you’ll get attached to that attention and what appears to be love. A lot of time even for the first time in your life. Cause we don’t come from loving homes otherwise they would not have prayed upon us. They’re the loser type and only go after the weak, always children and vulnerable women, or man who are going through something rough, and boy, does their cracked ego thinks they’re so powerful for going after the weak. Of course there is nothing lower and more pathetic than that, but in their distorted mind they feel gods for being able to prey upon the weakest and manipulate them. (spoiler alert everyone can, we’re easy)


And then at a point comes the realization that they are completely someone else. Realizing you don’t know this stranger, and why they look so ugly all of a sudden, how you could have missed that. Their psychopathic stare in combination with the dark energy that surrounds them, the pure evil and lack of empathy and their perception of this world. How they live like it’s a game they have to win by destroying someone else, and taking and taking, and all they feel is hate and anger. You realize they are not capable of feeling joy, hope or love. Seeing what you have in front of you makes you feel sick. Are they even human? I don’t think so. I feel like I need to throw up for the rest of my life now. That this species exist.



I see you, the only one who knew me

But now your eyes see through me

I guess I was wrong



Why you were stuck in there so long, because we as empathsreally care and we’re loyal. So they used all of these traits against us, with future faking, and now it seems as if all of a sudden our dreams are being stolen. But to make us feel that way was the purpose all along.Also, breaking up probably happened quite abruptly though a discard, which is also a tactic to make you trauma bond with the abuser. Their purpose is to hurt you and to trigger that abandonment wound, also a lot of chemicals are released in the brain and now you know this is an evil person but somehow you still feel like you can't leave.

So what now? It's plain to see we're over

And I hate when things are over

When so much is left undone


And I said,"What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

She said,"I think I remember the film

And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it"

And I said,"Well, that's the one thing we've got"


Oh how I love the raw and feelings way this is written. As a dialogue. And how ‘her’ speaking is portrayed: “I think I remember” “As I recall I think”. “kinda liked it” Not just liked it, she can't really recall, must mention that twice in the same sentence, and just kinda.

I know the type, so superficial, so shallow and empty.


I find it beautiful that it ends on a sarcastic note,Well, that's the one thing we've got" Knowing how ridiculous the spoken words and arguments of narcissist are I find this such a strong and playful conclusion.


Also, just that? Just a vague idea of an old movie, which we kinda both liked. Perfect description of the superficial toxic person with whom we actually never shared anything real, it was always one sided.






You'll say we've got nothing in common No common ground to start from And we're falling apart You say the world has come between us Our lives have come between us Still I know you just don't care


And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it" And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"


I see you, the only one who knew me But now your eyes see through me I guess I was wrong So what now? It's plain to see we're over And I hate when things are over When so much is left undone


And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it" And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"


You say that we've got nothing in common No common ground to start from And we're falling apart You say the world has come between us Our lives have come between us Still I know you just don't care


And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it" And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

Ooh, and I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it" And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

And I said, "What about Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film And as I recall, I think we both kinda liked it" And I said, "Well, that's the one thing we've got"

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